Reflection part 1

Two and a half years ago, in August of 2009 was when I learned that the worst kind of breech of marital trust was occurring in my marriage. After "the breech of trust", I packed up some stuff and went to stay with my parents in Maryland for about 8 weeks. It was one of the absolute most painful times in my life. I was also in my first trimester of pregnancy with Emilia Kate, which just made things that much more emotional.

In the midst of the emotions, of the gut wrenching sobs, and cries of "why me, God?!", I always had this overwhelming sense of God's grace. It was as if the gracious, and loving God that I knew was standing there with His hands on my shoulders saying "just trust in me, walk with me and I will lead you".

I saw a christian counselor while I was there in Maryland. Even with the few times I saw her, there were many things she said that impacted the decisions I made. I decided to come back to Colorado. To give our marriage time, serious prayer, and some hard work through introspection. I began walking through the book "The Power of a Praying Wife", and we also watched the dvd series of "Love and Respect". Both had their merits, but I think I knew deep down that ours would never be a lasting marriage. I think about 6 months after I came home was when I realized that trust would never be restored for either of us, and that I needed to start getting my financial affairs in order. And thus, the grieving process began.

I leave you with this, "But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." - 2 Corinthians 12:9