Sticks and Stones...

I watched this video yesterday and wept. Wept because it hit something deep within me that cried out "that's me! That's the hurt I felt!". I was bullied in highschool, I was called a liar, and various other things. I felt a bit like an outcast. I didn't wear the right clothes, wasn't a fabulous athlete, wasn't well off, etc... But things got better my junior and senior years thanks to a youth group at church and people who genuinely loved me like "Jesus with skin on".

Then I got engaged and married, where I learned about true bullying and "gaslighting".  I was told I was defensive, overly emotional, crazy, not worth being loved. That no one would ever want me, and that I would never be good enough. Lazy. Once I was told I was a bad mother. More then once I was told I needed to earn love. Those moments stand out in my mind far more then anything good that was ever said in those 5.5 years, and there were good things said. I would consider myself a strong woman, but I broke. Those words became what I felt about myself, the voice in my head that cried "you just aren't worthy. Then I was told that my emotional response was all my fault, that I just shouldn't let myself feel that way.

The truth is that words do cut, they cut deeper and the wounds last longer then any broken bone. The emotional pain of being told you aren't worthy of love takes years to heal. Years people, years. I am lucky enough to have family, friends, and a man in my life who have taken the time to help me heal. They, but especially Kyle are the ones who have made me feel like "the sun was something they built for us in their tool shed." I am SO thankful for them. Every single last one of them who have stood with me through thick and thin, including my former parent in-laws.

 

I was reminded of this picture that I saw on Pinterest awhile ago, but it applies to more then just our children. It is applicable to anyone with whom we open our mouths and speak words. Our closest friends, family members, children, spouses, significant others, the cashier at the grocery store, the server when you get lunch, etc... Heck, even the toll booth attendant. Our words have the power to build people up, to cut people down. How are you building up those with whom you have interaction? Remember that your words are powerful tools, and use them wisely.


Edited to add: I don't want to seem demeaning to my ex. The things that have been said have been forgiven. The grace, power, and healing of the Cross are incredible. Find your solace in Him.