Reflection part Two

This past week has turned me on my head. I ended a seven month relationship with the man, and as a result have spent night and day, and night and day(yay for working night shifts) thinking about the past couple of years. This month is also the first anniversary of our "paper" divorce. In addition to all that, a couple friends are also going through nasty, emotional abuse involved divorces. It has me once again reflecting on the emotions I've experience in the past couple years and the advice that I wish had been given to me...

1) Fully embrace the pain. Don't run. Don't self medicate. It hurts, and it's awkward to spend half your life trying not to cry at every thing but please understand that this.is.normal. Find a trusted friend(or five) in which to confide and let the tears run.

{confession. I'm really bad at letting things hurt, I'd just as soon stuff it down and pretend I'm ok, so I'm just now dealing with some things years later}

2) Understand that you are mourning the loss of your family and the loss of what was essentially a dream. Your family will not be in one piece. For now you won't come home to a loving spouse, eat dinner as a family, read the kids stories before tucking them in bed, and then snuggle on the couch. Nope. Instead you might wander around in a daze, wondering if you wiped your ass or your nose when you used the bathroom last time. You'll feed your kids pizza four nights in a row. Then you'll do the bare minimum and put them to bed, so you can go and try not to fall apart once you're alone.

3) Be angry. Be f*ing angry. Don't feel like you need to pretend you're not, and that everything will be hunky dory. It sucks. But please direct it in the right place. Preferably on your knees to God. Trust me, He's heard it all and He understands the anguish of your soul.

4) If, in your case, like mine you left because of abuse know that you are giving your kids the very, very best possible new beginning.

5) Find a good therapist. I'm a bit of a... hypocrite in this area since I'm only looking for one nearly 2 years later, but I wish I had done it SO MUCH sooner.

But know, above all else. Through the pain and the crappy days, and the barely making it from one thing to the next that you are SO very loved by our savior.